The Vigil
The next morning, I woke up on the couch in our living room. A wood-paneled room with garish orange 1970’s carpet, wood-paneled walls, and a black-and-white TV. It was daylight, but the sun was low in the sky, shining through the window on the side of our house and sending beams of light through the half-open curtains.
As I looked at the window, I noticed Dark Wolf, standing in the shadow in the space between the television and the window curtain. He was smaller now, and his green eyes only had a subtle glow.
“I can make myself small.” he said in answer to the question I had not yet asked.
“I am happy you are here,” I thought to him, and he responded with a slight bow of his head.
The front door opened, and my father’s sister, my Aunt Karen, walked into the house. She was my dad’s older sister by a couple of years. She was a beautiful woman, blond hair, bright blue eyes, thin and vibrant with a presence that radiated calm. She always smelled of spring flowers to me.
She walked over to the couch where I lay, but she didn’t yet look at me. She was staring at something… Dark Wolf. Could she see him!
Dark Wolf looked up at my Aunt, tilted his head slightly, and then looked back to me. My Aunt’s eyes followed his gaze to me. She knelt down beside me, placing her hand on my head and then my chest. As she did, she whispered something that sounded like a prayer but in words that were not familiar to me. She then took my hand and inspected my fingers. She said out loud to the room or perhaps Dark Wolf, “His fingertips are blue, his lips are blue, and his chest is crackling. This is not just an ear infection or regular fever.” Then she spoke directly to me. “It’s okay, sweetheart, we are going to get you some help.” She then stood looking at Dark Wolf before leaving the room.
“She can see you.” I thought to Dark Wolf.
He said nothing and instead closed his eyes and began to whisper in the same cadence and same unfamiliar words as my aunt had done.
I wanted to get Dark Wolfs attention to ask him why my aunt could she him, but my attention was instead drawn to the argument going on in the kitchen. My aunt and my mother were now in a heated discussion. My mother sounded angry but my Aunt spoke calmly and evenly.
“Don’t tell me how to take care of my own child.” my mother said.
“Peggy, you cannot wait for Jimmy to come home, JJ needs to go to the emergency room now. His lips and fingertips are blue and his chest crackling. This isn’t a regular cold or illness.” I heard my Aunt Karen say to my mother.
She continued “I have my Dad’s car, we can take him.” my mother calmed down and responded in agreement saying “I will leave a note for Jimmy.”
The confrontation in the kitchen had caused my heart to start beating fast. I also began to notice I couldn’t see well. Dark spots had appeared in my vision. I began to panic to try and catch my breath.
I looked at Dark Wolfs who’s eye’s were now open. “I can’t breath”, I thought to him.
“You are going to be ok.” he responded. “You must do as I say. Breath in, while counting in your head, 1,2,3,4,5 then breath out slowly counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You must slow your heart beats.”
I did my best to do as Dark Wolf had told me, but the dark spots became shadows creeping in on the center of my vision. My sight shrank slowly.
My mother and aunt entered the room and using the 70’ style croshaded knitted blanket as a hammock to lift me, one of them on each end of the blanket. They began to carry me out the front door, Dark Wolf keeping pace along side them.
I watched him through the looped knitting in the blanket and with my hand reached out to him as my vision continued to dissolve into the black circle.
A large black raven cawed from its perch on one of the giant trees in our front yard. I was sure it was the same raven from my room last night.
Dark Wolf looked at me. “No,” he said, “you must continue to breathe.” But it was no use. I was losing my fight with the shadows in my vision. Dark Wolf’s eyes blazed to life green and bright again. Just before I surrendered to the shadow, I heard him yell loudly, “Nithruun!” Hearing the word shocked me back from the brink of unconsciousness, and a flood of images surged through my head like memories but too fast to recognize any of the images or knowledge. My entire body was vibrating like a piano wire, and I heard a deep bass tone. I looked over at Dark Wolf again. His eyes flashed green, overwhelming my sight, and then there was nothing. No sound, no light, only darkness.
I lay there, no longer dangling between my aunt and mother in a makeshift hammock. The first thing that entered my sight was two faint green circles. Dark Wolf’s eyes. Then I could hear again. The wind blowing softly. Then I could smell; the smell was of snow and pine and the distant smoke of a campfire. The sky revealed itself next. It was a star-filled night but with more stars than I had ever seen. Then the bands of colors in the sky came into view. Greens, purples, reds, in moving waves of color across the sky. I had never seen anything like it. It was beautiful.
I began to notice that I could once again feel my body, my arms, and legs. I sat up and looked around. I was in a clearing in a snow-covered pine forest. Dark Wolf was back to his normal large size, standing next to me but looking at something not far away. I followed his gaze to an old man in a large, grinning hat with a long staff. He was dressed in what appeared to me to be Jedi robes with leather straps. He gave the appearance of a wizard of some kind. He had a patch on one eye, and his other eye glowed a deep purple. He also radiated that color like an aura. With him, perched on his shoulder, were two ravens. Large and black. At his feet, two wolves, on alert and staring back at Dark Wolf.
The man was hurriedly using his staff to draw shapes in the snow. The shapes began to glow purple, like the man.
Dark Wolf moved his front paw forward intently, placing it in the snow, and the glowing shapes disappeared. The two wolves at the wizard’s feet began to stalk forward, ready to pounce. Dark Wolf’s eyes flashed, and they cowered, lowering their heads in submission and stalking back behind the old man. The ravens on the man’s shoulders took flight high into the night sky and began to circle as if searching for something.
The old man’s shoulders dropped slightly as he sighed, and he stopped his snow writing. Instead, he drew his staff forward, placing both hands on it and shifting to lean his weight upon it in a manner that signaled defeat or acceptance, or both. He looked up slowly.
“Dark Wolf,” he said. “I should have known.” He continued, “The only creature that can forcibly summon me from my own halls. Why have you called me here, Echo Howler?”
“This child is in need of protection while his mortal body recovers from illness,” Dark Wolf replied.
“Mortal’s die every day. It’s part of the cycle. What is so out of balance that you, Dark Wolf, would interfere?”
“I have not interfered. I have rebalanced. The child is not fated to die now, but something has been knocked out of alignment, and he will die without our help. Without your help, Wand Bearer. He carries the bloodline of your people, of the Shadow Walker.” said Dark Wolf.
“A Ravenson?”, the old man seemed to be interested now. “Well, that explains why he is here as well.” He motioned behind Dark Wolf. I turned my head to see what he was referring to and could see the small black raven. The same raven that was in my room, the same raven that was in my front yard.
“Still holding onto the mortal world, I see. Hrafen, you must eventually choose; you cannot stay in liminal space for an eternity.”
To my shock, the raven began to grow and morph into a dark shadow of a man, and then took the full form of a man. A man dressed in leather and fur. He was bald with a beard and black charcoal ash around his eyes. His head bore many scars and tattoos as well. He spoke with his head bowed in respect.
“I have kept your ways, All-Father.” “I have carried your alter forward in the mortal world and have not let the sagas be forgotten. That is why I stay.” “This one,” he motioned towards me, “he carries my line more than any other, and without him, I cannot continue my work to honor you. He has a saga of his own that has yet to be written.”
“Let me see him,” said the old man. Dark Wolf stepped to the side, revealing me, sitting in the snow.
“Stand up, child. My people always stand in my presence.” he said. I did not argue, and I found that I was able to stand, and to breathe, and move. In fact, I felt strong and healthy, not sick at all.
The All-Father, as he was now known to me, walked towards me until he was directly in front of me, and all I could see. He was tall and smelled of ash and cinder. He had to take a knee in order to be at eye level with me. I had a hard time meeting his gaze. His hand found my chin and turned my head to him.
“Do not be frightened, child. You do not yet know of me, but you are one of my people.” He said.
I looked up into his eyes, which were now a swirling vortex of purple and blue lightning bolts. I found I couldn’t look away and that I was not afraid. In fact, I felt that I wasn’t afraid of anything.
The All-Father stood again and, turning toward Dark Wolf, said, “He is not fated to die today. There is no need for interference.”
Dark Wolf stood growled and took a step towards the All-Father, and the All-Father seemed to shrink a little. Dark wolf spoke in a deep primal voice that did not hid his rage “When I tell you there is need for balance, there is need for balance.” “When I tell you he needs your protection, it is not a request. I once stood your vigil for 9 days. You will perform the same ritual for the boy. You will stand his vigil. I gave you 9 days; you will repay 3.”
The All-Father recovered and spoke. “Why is this one mortal instance so important to you?”
“He is the firstborn of a seventh son of 9 and a 3rd daughter of 5. He is the third of his name. You know the cosmic math, what it means,” said Dark Wolf.
The All-Father took a breath and clearing his throat said, “Yes, yes I do know”. In resignation and recognition, he turned his gaze to me and spoke. “This one is the final mortal instance of the first shadow gate guardian. But, if this is so, why is the Guardian not here?”
“Duty,” replied Dark Wolf.
“Guilt, I think,” replied the All-Father.
“There is no guilt in speaking the truth. Even if the truth is not wanted,” replied Dark Wolf. He continued, “The boy is of your people in the mortal realm and, as you know, is not fated to die. But something has altered that fate, and intervention is needed to restore balance. You will honor your duty to your people and your oath to me and protect him for 3 days until…”
Dark Wolf suddenly stopped speaking and started scanning the perimeter of the pine forest. At the same time, the ravens that had been on the All-Father’s shoulder began to caw. The All-Father himself seemed surprised and suddenly very angry. His glow became bright and strong; his robes now took the shape of golden armor, and his staff a golden spear. The light of his aura had also shifted to yellow and white.
“What is the meaning of this?” he yelled to the pine forest! “This provocation is not ordained, and you will leave this place, or you will face oblivion!” As he yelled, he struck the butt of his spear hard to the ground, and a great thundering sound echoed through the forest, followed by a wave of golden yellow light emanating from where the All-Father had struck the ground.
Symbols appeared around me in a circle, and I was at the center.
As the wave of golden light spread into the shadow of the pine trees, shadows in the shape of human figures could be seen clearly now. Hundreds of them. Shadows in the shape of the human form with pale green eyes. Not the brilliant green of Dark Wolf’s eyes but a sickening pale green.
“What are they?” I heard myself say. Dark Wolf looked at me with surprise. “They are not supposed to be here,” he said, not answering my question.
The man called “Ravenson,” who had been a raven up until a few moments ago, drew two small axes from his belt and held one in each hand as he stepped forward to stand beside the All-Father.
“Dark Wolf speaks the truth,” said the All-Father, not taking his gaze off the dark shadow creatures no slowly approaching. “There are unnatural forces in motion and upsetting the balance.” “The Ravenson and I will stand the boy’s vigil. As will my wolves.” The All-Father’s wolves were back and had grown in size. They were growling at the shadows in the forest in warning.
“Take the boy to the cave,” said the All-Father to Dark Wolf.“ Guard the opening. Should any of these fowl creatures get past us, they will dare not approach you.”
With that, Dark Wolf picked me up with his mouth as if I were his puppy and flung me onto his back. “Hold on,” he said and began to run towards a cave in the distance.
As Dark Wolf ran, I could hear the clash and fighting behind me. The noise of battle heard by a four year old boy for the first time. Thunder boomed in the clear sky and flashes of light illuminated the snow. I held tight and buried my face in Dark Wolfs fur.
To be continued…….
Post Script
Thank you for walking this far into Where Ravens Wait.
This story is still becoming. What you’ve read here is an early telling, a first shaping of something that is not yet finished. Like all living stories, it will change as it is written. Paths may shift, scenes may deepen, and the version that one day finds its way into print may not look exactly like what you see here now.
If what you’ve read lingers with you, if it follows you after the page ends, you’re welcome to stay. Subscribing to the blog is how you continue the walk.
If you choose to share this story, know that you are not promoting something—you are carrying it. That is how stories like this survive. That is how they find the people who are meant to hear them.
I will continue to write, as long as the path remains open.
Until then—remember: where ravens wait.
– Jim Daley, Author
“Things in life have no real beginning, though our stories about them always do.”
— Colum McCann